Episode IV: Return of the Jedi

Okay, so this isn't really about Star Wars. But it is a little bit. Liz Gets Healthy has to go into Yoda mode. Because here's the deal with life, everybody, do or do not, there is no try. 

Will I ever look as hot as Mark Hammill in the 80's?
Probably.

Just kidding. There is a try. But sometimes you just have to decide to do something. When I started Liz Gets Healthy I think I wanted to do something. Although apparently that something was start a blog. I talked with my dad on the phone tonight and he said he would be happy to see my blog come back-- but he was leery of how much time it takes up and whether or not it is actually a helpful thing for me.

Just kidding, Shakey, it's not a question.

The answer is, yes, it is kind of helpful. But it is not the most helpful thing in a weight loss process. Blogging is awesome. But blog entries don't bring me closer to healthiness or further from diabetes. You know what is a helpful thing?

Running.

Running. Eating better. Moving in any way. That's what helps. So in a way, this blog is more like a step in the right direction. It helps me gain the motivation to do the things I need to get healthier! And I get to pick clip-art! It's win-win!

Seriously though, all pictures of Luke Skywalker, Shakespeare and Homer aside, I have not been doing well. I started eating burritos again, alone, secretly, paid with cash, like an addict. Binge eating disorder is not diagnosable as of right now, but it's on the list for DSM V. I really, really struggle. It's easier for me to pretend I'm okay with being big and just go with it. In the long run, it won't be easier, and it's going to take a lot of work to change my habits, because they are not just unhealthy, they are disordered. 

No kidding, Mr. Scale...

Sometimes I think maybe I should go all-out-ridiculous and go on a liquid diet or join some kind of weight loss group. Or write the folks on biggest loser. By the way, here's another wake-up call: I qualify for gastric bypass surgery. That's right. My BMI is high enough that doctors would consider making incisions in my abdomen to cut pieces of my stomach out and reroute my digestive system. I am actually that sick. I need to take this that seriously.  I actually just met a lady who had GB-- then I googled some results about half an hour ago. The results are terrifying.  GB might save people's lives, but please do not google what it does to the rest of your body. Seriously. Don't google that.

I don't want that for me. I really, really don't. So Liz Gets Healthy is back. There is no easy way out of 100 pounds, but there is a way out. I just have to put on my big girl pants and go for it, one day at a time. 

Thank you for reading. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for even entertaining the thought that I can do this. Thank you for being inspirations. Thank you for being my friends and my family. I will probably fall off the wagon again. I don't even know how to drive a wagon, so you know, it's likely I'll fall off, but I'm going to get back on that wagon again and again and again. 

To climb onto the wagon you must know the wagon.

Why?

Because I kind of need to. Because I really want to. Because "Wagon Driver" will look hella good on a resume.