The Importance of Being Honest (With Yourself)

Well hello, sweet internets! It's so good to see you all here! It's good to see me here, too! The topic for today is the importance of being honest with yourself.

Well, I think I'm honest with myself about what I want, which is pizza.

So today, I'm being honest with myself and the internet and posting my weight as of this morning. Then we're going to discuss a few other fun things that I've been thinking about. We've got a lot to do in this one little post, team! So let's get started with the number.

Holy snacks, did anyone else just hear the Wilhelm Scream?!

What does this mean? I'm 25 years old and I'm 5'6" so this means:

• I'm approximately 100 pounds overweight.
• My BMI is more than 40-- I'm classified as Morbidly Obese.
• I wear a size 20 pants.

But those are numbers. What does it really mean to me today?

• Today weighing 251 pounds meant I got up and had a healthy breakfast.
• Today weighing 251 pounds meant I did stairs on all of my breaks (I have climbed 13 flights so far today).
• Today weighing 251 pounds meant Tarver and I made a healthy dinner and I used my measuring cups and food scale to make sure I ate the right amount-- and my fitbit software told me what that amount was.
• Today weighing 251 pounds means we're going to the gym. No Excuses.

Because of what I'm currently working on for my job, I've been thinking a lot about positive thinking and the power it has. I can look at the incredible amount I weigh and be sad. Or I can choose to utilize it as a good motivator. 

I told Taaren yesterday that I look approximately like a marshmallow in the microwave.
She glared at me and told me not to be a jerk. :) I laughed raucously. 

So, with that out of the way-- we can talk about the other thing I was thinking about today which was the subtle art of readiness. Tarver and I have been exercising for a few weeks now and I've been eating well for about 5 days. I've tried to lose weight many many times before. Every other time it has felt like pulling teeth. Like I had to drag myself along every step of the way. Like a sled dog with way too much on their sled.

Except, let's be real, these dogs are in way better shape than I am.

I know I'm only a few days in, but it feels different. Not to get all sappy on you classy folks, but it almost feels like how I felt when I met Tarver-- I feel like "oh, this makes sense. Why haven't I been doing this my entire life?" I'm not saying going to the gym and measuring my food and doing stairs on my breaks is easy by any means-- it just doesn't feel as awful as the previous times. It doesn't feel like I'm fighting with myself.

If I start hitting myself, please let one of my many therapist-friends know.

The last few times I've worried and obsessed about burritos and pizza and coldstone. This time? I've decided I'm not giving those things up. I'm just limiting them. Yesterday Tarver and I had lunch with our friend Kyle and I cut my burrito in half. 400 calories-- which is a perfectly acceptable lunch. You know what made it even better? I got to eat the other half of that burrito today! I got to eat burritos TWICE! Yes, somehow I have tricked my brain into believing it is getting double the food, instead of half of the food.

Shhh! Don't tell my brain that this ISN'T what's happening!

 How and why does my brain accept that? I think it's because I'm actually ready to do it. I'm going to continue to make these small changes that lead to big changes. I'm Ready. I want it like never before. I'm happier with the other parts of my life like never before. We have more disposable income than ever before. It's time. I'm ready. I want my life and my self and my body to be healthy. I. Am. Ready.

Way to break up the sincere mood, Spongebob.

So, that's my story. I'm apparently honest with myself and you about my weight, but I lie to myself about how many burritos I eat. No one ever said I make any sense. But I'm saying these two things honestly, loudly and clearly:

1. I'm Ready.
2. No Excuses.

And for fun, here's what my FitBit Dashboard looks like right now. Thanks for reading, team! Leave me a comment! Send me to a friend who needs some motivation! Or just quietly close my page and come back next time (Saturday the 9th, I believe). We're cool. :)

I'm not even going to make a snarky comment. I love this thing.